I'm not sure that anything can prepare you for something like the phone call that I got about 3:40 am on May 14, 2021. I had gone to bed that night and my phone was on silent like it usually is, but I woke up to it vibrating. Steph was calling me, and I knew that it was an emergency. She asked me if I was awake and then she repeated that again. I half yelled into the phone, Yes! What is wrong? She then told me that Dad had a heart attack and was being taken by the ambulance to the Plainview hospital. Cindy had initiated CPR and they had a heart rhythm on the screen when they left. The nurse brain in me took over and I threw on clothes and told Robb that I was leaving. He was half asleep, but he wanted to know if he should go with me. We had the kids at home, and I didn't want anything to slow me down in getting to him as fast as possible. I was driving the familiar roads to Norfolk, but I had put my navigation on just because I was still waking up. When I got to Seward they were working on bridges and there were multiple stops where it went to one lane. I was praying like I have never prayed before! At one of the stoplights, I got a call from Cindy. She was sobbing and she asked me how long should they continue the recusation? I was having a hard time understanding her because she was crying so I asked to talk to one of the nurses or doctors. They gave me the facts. They had showed up on scene with no heart rhythm, they had placed the mechanical CPR machine on him and continued life saving measures to no avail. They had never once obtained a heartbeat since the 911 call was placed. I asked to talk to Cindy, and I told her that he was gone and that they should stop life saving measures. We both sobbed into the phone. Never in a million years when my dad told me I was his medical power of attorney did I think that I would be making this decision for a semi healthy 61-year-old while I was driving alone in the middle of the night. My mind split up the task at hand and my feelings because this is what I have to do, to do the job that I do. I called Steph and told her and then I called Mitch and told him. I called Robb and then I drove tears running down my face all the way to Plainview. When I pulled up to the hospital parking lot in Plainview, I saw a big guy with a red shirt on and my dad's build standing out in the parking lot. I so wanted that to be him and for him to tell us that they had made a fuss out of nothing and called us all to come when he was really ok. It was Chris, Jess's husband and nothing was ok. Mitch and I got there at about the same time and us 3 kids went in to see him. The staff was all very nice and they lead us into a room where he was all covered up. It looked like he could have just been sleeping. We all got time to say our last goodbyes. I remember saying over and over again that we still needed him, and he couldn't go yet and that I loved him, and we would take care of each other. We all went back to Cindy's house, in shock and not sure what to do next. No one gives you instructions on what to do when your dad dies, especially when you are 38 years old. If someone told me that something so profound could happen that could forever change them, I would think that sounded pretty dramatic but from May 13 to May 14 I would forever be a changed person.
How do you go about living without someone that has known you all of your life? He was my person that I called when I was sad, upset, needed advice, needed to vent, had something exciting happen, when my car was making a funny noise, or a sink was leaking in my house. He gave the best advice on all things big or little. He was funny and quirky, and I get my stupid humor from him. It was like a giant hole had opened up in all our worlds and we didn't know how to function anymore. Thankfully, there are people that lead us through all the hard things. My dad's friends Craig and Kyle, the friends and neighbors that had heard it over the scanner in the middle of the night and showed up with breakfast and coffee. The funeral director that showed up at the door and made an appt to meet with us later that day. Jess who although incredible upset had a more level head than we did and was able to be the voice of reason in some of the situations and take care of Cindy. I guess at this moment in time I was thankful for a small town and for the fact that my dad would have been that guy for any of his friends, so he had an abundance of people show up for him. The rest of the day was a blur of crying, planning, reminiscing and more crying. The boys had their play that night so Bob graciously drove me home because I was in no shape to drive but I knew that dad would want me to keep doing all the things that needed to be done.
