Steph's Surgery

Steph has had her pacemaker since she was 13 and later got an ICD. Essentially, she has been dependent on medical technology to keep her heart functioning since then. When she got her ICD, the newest technology was the double coil leads. These leads were screwed into the heart muscle, and over time, scar tissue would form, making it very unlikely that they would come out. This was a great advantage for older patients who didn’t plan on having the device removed. Most people getting these implants were in that category. However, as with any new medical technology, the downsides often aren’t known until years later—and this is where Steph’s situation comes in.

Now almost 40, Steph needed her leads replaced after one of them snapped. The problem was, these leads were never designed to be removed. The surgery to replace them was extremely risky and nerve-wracking. Even though I wasn’t the one having the procedure, it was still terrifying for me to think about. Steph’s doctor, Dr. Law—who has been her doctor since the beginning—was involved, but he had referred her to a cardiothoracic team for the actual surgery. Steph met with the team beforehand, and the day before her surgery, she went in for pre-op testing and to go over all the possible scenarios and risks. While informed consent is vital, it can also be frightening. We really needed Dad’s calm presence in that moment. Mom is a wonderful person, but she was understandably anxious, and it didn’t bring the same sense of calm that Dad always provided. I’m sure he was silently panicking, but he was able to reassure us that everything would be okay.

The day before the surgery, Mom, Draven, Steph, and Lester went down for the appointments. Robb and I joined them at the AirBNB later that evening. The next morning, we left early for the Children’s Hospital in Iowa City. Yes, Steph still has surgeries at the Children’s Hospital because all her doctors are pediatric specialists. She was terrified, and honestly, nothing anyone could say or do would make her feel better. We were all scared for her. I just wanted to be there for her.

Then began the long day of waiting. Lester spent most of the day sitting by the windows with his headphones on, clearly nervous, and I felt awful for him. He has been such a support to Steph since they met. Draven stayed occupied with his own headphones. I passed the time doing hand embroidery, while Robb watched movies on his phone. Mom couldn’t sit still—she paced constantly and talked more than usual, so I tried to step in and handle questions to spare Lester from having to answer them.

A couple of hours into the wait, we got the good news: they had managed to remove the lead, and the small section that couldn’t be laser-removed would be left in place. The greatest risk with this procedure was that the heart tissue could be delicate, and lasering it could cause irreversible damage. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief, knowing that the most difficult and dangerous part of the surgery was over. They then placed the new device and leads, and Steph would be heading to recovery soon.

Lester and I went up to speak with Dr. Law, who was very pleased with how everything had gone. It was reassuring to know that Steph has a doctor who treats her like a daughter.

About an hour later, Steph was moved to her room in the cardiac care unit. Lester and Draven were allowed to see her first, and when it was my turn, I found her already chatting with the older woman in the bed next to hers (yes, they still had double rooms, which felt odd). The nurses had offered Steph applesauce after her procedure, and in true Steph fashion, she responded, “What am I, a toddler? No, I don’t want applesauce.” That’s when we knew she was back to her old self.

I was so relieved to see her acting like herself again. I knew the risks, but in order to support her and not make her more anxious, I had to stay confident and reassure her that her medical team was excellent and everything would be fine. It was a huge relief when that turned out to be true. Steph and I have always been close (except for those teenage years when we nearly killed each other over clothes), but I feel like we’ve grown even closer since Dad passed away. I need her—she’s my person. I can’t express enough how thankful I am that everything turned out for the best.