When we looked at our December schedule this year, it quickly became clear that an extended family Christmas with my side of the family just wasn’t going to happen. Every weekend was already full, and instead of trying to cram one more thing in, we decided to take some of the stress out of it and plan our celebration for after Christmas instead.
Since Cindy doesn’t love to travel, it made the most sense to gather at her house, where she lives with Jess and her family. Jess was gracious enough to offer to host as long as we kept things simple — which was honestly perfect. We ordered pizza, brought soda, and I brought a couple of desserts. Nothing fancy, very low-stress, but it was really nice to be together and catch up.
Abby had already committed to a babysitting job when I planned this, which made me feel bad. I didn’t know she had picked it up, and she didn’t know about the gathering until the week before. Thankfully, it worked out okay. Abby had seen Cindy a couple of weeks earlier when we dropped off Cindy’s flower subscription with Steph, so it didn’t feel quite as disappointing.
I won’t lie, no one really tells you how to navigate the relationship with your dad’s wife after your dad is gone. It’s uncharted territory in a lot of ways. But we’re doing what works for us, and it feels right. My kids have always known Cindy as Grandma, and while I was too old when they got married to ever think of her as a stepmom, I do truly appreciate her place in my life.
It’s also been a gift to gain Jess as a bonus sibling. She is always sweet, welcoming, and kind to us, and it makes gatherings like this feel warm and easy. It may not have been a traditional Christmas celebration, but it was meaningful in its own way and sometimes that’s exactly what you need.
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